ANYTHING but being nice to myself...

When in the throws of a really difficult time, someone might think "I'd do anything to feel better." But even in that moment, many of us would cringe at the idea of stopping and spending real minutes being compassionate and kind to ourselves. I know; it can feel cheesy or fluffy or insultingly irrelevant to the gravity of whatever issue that's consuming you. It might even feel threatening if you suspect that giving any more attention to your suffering could risk falling even deeper into it. Fortunately, my obligation to at least try these kinds of "evidence based practices" and interventions before I inflict them upon clients helped me overcome this predictable North American reaction, and give Kristin Neff's book "Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself" and associated exercises a try. Since Neff defined what self-compassion actually is and started seriously studying it over 20 years ago, she and other researches have proven it to be a profoundly simple yet effective tool. It only takes a couple minutes, and I have never seen it make a difficult time worse when clients and I have practiced it in session. If you don't have the excuse of "doing it for the clients," I suggest watching Neff's talk about what self-compassion is not to help you overcome our predictable resistance: Kristin Neff: Overcoming Objections to Self-Compassion. Her book "Self-Compassion" is an easy read or listen, too, and most likely available at your local library, and you can find various ways to practice self-compassion on her website at https://self-compassion.org/self-compassion-practices/#guided-practices. If I could only teach someone who is struggling one skill without knowing anything about them or their situation, it might be the three steps of self-compassion. I hope you give it a try.